Probably, you find it strange that I send you this note now.
It is a rather personal message and I wanted to make it clear. I spent nights to compose it and threw many drafts away. I really wanted to tell you this, because it is so important.
Finally, I decided that I will not think about brilliant phrases and I might sound simple but my words are true, coming from my heart.
I love you.
You gave life to me and you raised me.
I love you.
Now that I have my own child and family I understand even more about you. I feel that I know you better now. And I can tell that you are worried. You might be hurt.
You know, I am not you. And I did not choose the same path that you walked with me. I know that you noticed. And maybe, you do not understand why.
But, listen, it does not mean that your path is bad.
It only means that you chose that and certainly that was the best to choose at that time.
I have different ways and opportunities and other approaches. You and me were not raised in the same way. You did not follow your own mother either. And my mother was not the same as yours, I get different values, different directions.
Now I became a mother, too. I am now part of your tribe. The tribe of mothers. You and me become equal members of this tribe and we all have different paths and choices.
I love you.
I love and accept everything about you.
I only ask you to return this love and acceptance to me.
I am a mother now and I am a proud daughter.
While I will always honour my family, I do not need guidance anymore, I would like to try to walk my path on my own, so please let my hand go.
But, hey, Mum! Could you please stay? Just in case I fall?
By Mariann Hornyak
Mariann Hornyák is mother of Ben and wife to Endre. She lives in the East Midlands in the UK but her babywearing journey started in Hungary, when the little boy was born in 2012. She discovered ways of carrying babies when she worked in Africa in 2010. The simplicity and the way how the children are involved with everything around the family amazed her and she was certain this is how naturally she wants to bond with her own baby. She learnt about slings from babywearing friends who all recommended the Liliputi stretchy wrap as a first wrap with a new baby. This is how Mariann has fallen in love with the Liliputi style. She has explored a little bit further and she tried and used about hundred different baby slings and carriers in the past few years. She has great connections with several wrap manufacturers and carrier makers so she can share information, updates and news from first hand. Mariann launched her own business in April 2013 after realising that she almost works full time as a volunteer babywearing consultant, however, she completed the course of Babywearing Consultant by Slingababy and also accredited to level 3 by School of Babywearing. Besides running the Baby in Sling Babywearing Consultancy, Mariann writes articles in Hungarian and in English to help mothers find their inner voice, to show parents more options and to give them tools to parent in the way how they really want. She facilitates an attachment parenting group with regular meetings and events, the group is affiliated with the Attachment Parenting UK and has about 170 members. Previously Mariann worked for the Food and Agriculture Organisation of the United Nations and also had experience in the for-profit sector. She is educated to Master Degree level, her first degree is International Relation, Foreign Affairs and Security Policy, her MSc is International Economics. She started to prepare for her PhD in Counter Terrorism when she got sidetracked by her new baby. Ben is now 2 years old and he really wants to go to nursery. His chosen place is on a farm in the middle of a forest, so this might mean that Mariann will return to work full time. But she will always remain an author, a writer and a sling consultant for anyone who needs reassurance and some support.